Archive for the 'ADD' Category

Dear Drugs: THANK YOU!! for a real good time..

Fact:

Without illegal drugs, my life, up till & including tonight, would have sucked toast. Way bogus. I mean bad; a total waste of time.

It would have all been so stupid!!

Shit yes. I have problems. My life has been hard. But when I’ve needed them drugs have been there for me. When I had nowhere else to turn it was drugs that saved the day.

Even when my life sucks directly because of drugs it still beats the sad crap out of how bad life would suck with no drugs at all. I will go so far as to say I feel certain I would’ve killed myself long ago if the drugs weren’t on my side.

Why? Because drugs gave me something to live for. A reason to stay awake for another day & night when the sun comes up each morning. Yeah & you know what?

Drugs give me Hope!

Mostly they’ve helped me celebrate life with people I love. I am going to die one day. When I do I’ll look back over this 1 & 3/4 decades-long drug binge and congratulate myself for a job smashingly well done. Yeppers kiddoz! My first hit of weed was the smartest choice I ever made. Until I finally got to check out some of that L$D!!

And when you go without food — due to smoldering abject poverty — for a day or few you will thank Adolph Hitler, Sweet Mother Earth and maybe even Jesus — that evil cocksucker — for all the amphetamines.

So thanks again drugs. Just sorry you had to wear off so soon. Ya’ll come back now y’hear!

Ok. Off to sleep.

NOT!!

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Zippy Speedwiz Decks Another Couch Cushion

We were somewhere around the last exit before Earth at the edge of the 2nd or 3rd sun up when the drugs began to wear off. I remember saying something like “I’m feeling a bit dark headed — I wish a jar of speed would land on my lap free like pigeon doo out of the sky.”

If the jar was on the other side of the room we’d be done for. Too far. And no question: ours was a K-Hole-deep need for the speed to be free.

A jar of blue 10 Mg Addaboyz bounced into my lap.

“Did we take acid?” Zippie Speedwiz asked. “Must’ve — I hallucinate.”

Then Z. Speedwiz reached for the pills in my lap.

“Hey hey!’ I hollered & leapt out of his arm’s way. “Those aren’t pillows!!

“So they’re drugs for real?”

“Oh frikkity yes!”

“Shit,” Zippy Speedwiz said. Jumped up & clutched a couch cushion. Threw it on the floor and stomped it flat with both his feet. Still not satisfied he lunged to the bathroom & let out one word in a borderline make-believe shriek:

“Toilet!!” He meant to give the evil lint-bag a Swirlie. He gasped excitedly. His own cruelty made him giddy.

But the bathroom was locked. Zip stopped like a hyena in a leg-trap then lunged once more — this time toward the outside door. The July sun blared mercilessly through the slow-dripped morning dew steam.

A dollop of humidity fell from a nearby leaf; a harbinger of the sticky waves of green house heat which inevitably would follow.

Sweat poured from Z. Speedwiz’s ears he was so fucking hot. Couldn’t move. Got the Fear of the abused couch cushion vengefully whooping his ass across the lawn like a badminton birdie. Then it’ll be forever like:

Yo remember the time Zippy Speedwiz was so cracked out & retardo that he god his rump stomped by a pillow?!

Heh heh. He’s so…stupid.

Yeah — well not today. Z whipped out his cord, so to speak, and pissed the pillow into submission. Came back & sat on the couch.

“Dude!” I said. “You pissed on a pillow!! Super cool.”

“Yeah ya know why?” He asked. Popped 40 AddaBoy mg’z from the jar that just fell in my lap from the sky.

“Cause people use that bitch pillow to help them sleep?” I proffered.

I heard a laugh & looked up. A head hung over the stairway rail directly above the couch. The face had a mouth that grinned hugely. Obviously pleased as spiked punch with her own coolness. Plumb giddy that she’d contributed to the delinquency of the already hopelessly delinquent. Right when — without those pills — we might have got tired in the next 12 or 18 hours & maybe had to sleep.

Zippy Speedwiz dropped three sets of cheap sunglasses over his eyes & waved like an astronaut or a race car driver.

“Where we’re going,” He assured everyone. “We don’t need PILLOWS!!”