DEGENERATE GAMBLER CHRONICLES: episode ga frikkin Zillion!!!

I have a long & storied history with the gambled dollar.

So know you know.

There exists an adage; one shared among gamblers in the esteemed know. It must be understood. And it is by some few. Ignore it and you’re doomed. Still, most gamblers do. That’s why most gamblers are dumb bet sluts who will always lose.

It takes a classy & real smart bet slut like me to know: I must Bet To Win.

Read the adage again.

Bet To Win. Linguistic action is wound evenly in to the 3-word phrase’s entirety. Bet To Win. Verb. All go. I must bet to win.

Silent space between each word in the phrase passes precisely measured and too fast to see. Unless you’re hallucinating. Then absolute quietude may wrap in fast moving energy packets around the eyeballs. Whoa dudes; you can taste the silence. Not unlike the way you’ll imagine chocolate tastes when swallowed by your eyeballs. But…can you smoke it? Just then the chocolate silence eye lid whiff shimmies & morphs into an eye of its’ own & winks.

Makes the heart leap that silence; like silence spaced between 1 & 2 in the 1 & 2 & 1 & 2 & in a drumbeat.

The three words in the adage is like popping 3 speed pills at the same time. BAM! All at once. Or more like the cumulative effect of an evening’s first three beers; brilliantly interdependent, their sum greater in a mysterious way than the added worth of each part.

The third beer is when it gets awesome dudes!

Bet To Win. What does it mean — I must first bet in order to win?

No.

I must bet to win.

Dig?

I don’t always win but I want to. And raw want to win is the key.

Most people bet to gamble. They hope to lose as little as possible. They may not want to lose. But the House Always Wins.

You’ve heard that one right? House Always Wins. Rule.

They used to have a rule at amusement parks. Old ones, like Brooklyn’s Coney Island — which I was fortunate to visit this summer. Is Coney Island still open? Probably for another few days, that’s it. I think after this weekend Coney Island is doomed.

What a bummer. Never even got to ride the Cyclone. Though it has long been on the top of my list of Roller Coasters to Steal.

Anyway back when the wooden Cyclone roller coaster was built They had a rule. Not written. Written rules are much easier to break. You know where to find them!

Who here likes to break the law??

Whoo!!

Like how since it’s Expressly Forbidden by law all those illegally downloaded movies are more fun to watch.

But the rule at Coney Island was different; this was a law of Physics. Written? Not precisely. In fact it was considered so obviously true that it was inforced by & large with nary a mention.

Roller Coasters Don’t Go Upside Down. Unless there is a catastrophic accident.

Upside Down? Nope! Not Roller Coasters. They just don’t.

House Always Wins. Same deal. Rule was probably first made up alongside the ancient roulette wheel. The very first casino gamblers were informed that House Always Wins is intractably Truth. The rule has passed virally down, generation-to, from slut custie gamblers to their retard offspring.

That’s me!

But I — a dedicated life long rule breaker– aim to break that one rule above all.

Why?

Because I want to win. It’s my passion. That simple. I thus aim to win more than I lose. I must win. As must we all; if not as gamblers then at whatever it is you do.

Plus the rule is wrong. Bogus. Fraud-on its’ face Not true.

The house turns a profit. They are a business. This is America. Profit they should! But every time a bet is payed out the fact is: the house does not win. It loses.

I aim thus to prove irrefutable to anyone who cares that the House can & does constantly lose.

So we can win.

I aim to prove it thus because I am a teller of Truth.

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2 Responses to “DEGENERATE GAMBLER CHRONICLES: episode ga frikkin Zillion!!!”


  1. 1 absintheve September 3, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    so i’m stuck at the track…
    So where are you?
    i know you might not want to play me in poker….
    but you know i would maybe let you win…NOT!!!
    I dare you to show your face here…i am the degenerate gambler….you tell tall tales!!

  2. 2 absintheve September 3, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    I bet to win…And I bet you to win or lose…that will be your choice…dude


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