ADD + CIA: the Connection

When I see one I know it — and this is a Very Good Bet:

America will soon experience an absolute hissy-fit explosion in crystal meth use.

I know, I know. I know what you’re saying: “Soon? But Mike E — I heard crystal meth is already the Scourge Of The Nation!”

So they say. But if crystal meth is the Scourge Of The Nation I ask: How come I’m not on it right now?

Why indeed? After all I just bought four 30-milligram extended release Adderalls for $5 a pop from some jerk off the street. I call him a jerk because he opened two of the capsules and scooped a third of the speed out from each. When I confronted him a few minutes later he basically said “Tough Shit.” And only a jerk would say that to the dude — a friend — who just payed a premium price for the pills to begin with.

But I didn’t call him a jerk to his face. Why? Arithmetics. The law of Supply & Demand.

I didn’t want to piss the dude off because Demand is high. Supply is low. Brattleboro is in the midst of an Adult ADD epidemic of historic proportions and we plain old don’t got enough medicine. It took me two days to hunt the jerk down as it was; piss him off and I’ll be shit out of luck the next time around. It’s a Seller’s Market for Adderall in this town — and in Seller’s Markets the Jerks call the shots.

Especially when the Buyer is more addicted than Jane.

Sad fact is — from the addicted standpoint — I’m real close to shit out of luck already. I will be completely, not long from now, when those few paltry pills wear off. So I ask again: If crystal meth is the Scourge Of The Nation why didn’t I instead spend my $20 on that?

Why indeed? A twenty sack of meth packs roughly a billion-proof stronger punch than even a smashingly good $20 deal on Adderall. Twenty dollars worth of good meth will keep you up for 3 days; whereas 120 milligrams of Adderall practically puts me to sleep.

I need 150 milligrams to actually fall asleep.

So why not go for the meth? One could propose Good Reasons. Mostly having to do with the overall evil-ness of crystal meth. You know, like the shit kills you & all. Even I may be inclined to agree that — from a general health standpoint — I’m better off with the type of speed doctors prescribe. And you, dear reader, may be inclined to pat me on the back for choosing so wisely.

Fuck you.

I want some meth.

Why? Arithmetic reasons. Meth is cheaper plus it lasts longer.

Total no brainer dudes!

But the fact is you can’t get crystal meth in Brattleboro.


Part of me thinks it’s because — for reasons of good conscience — people who could bring meth to town don’t want to. And the fact is that people who intermittently may wish it were — people like me — do not in actuality want it around. For obvious reasons.

I took my first Adderall in 1999. I thought it was awesome dudes. I took to pharmaceutical amphetamines with literally uncommon zeal. I like them little buggers so much that if I had had steady access to crystal meth — for any prolonged time-stretch since — I bet money I would be something quite like dead.

In the late 1990’s America experienced a near hissy-fit explosion in OxyCotin use. So-called the “Hillbilly Heroin,” these legally prescribed painkillers introduced widespread swaths of rural America — where heroin is scarce — to the opioid in its’ crush & snortable (or injectable) form.

Recently, on the heels of a multi-million dollar class-action settlement, the makers of OxiContin admitted they had deliberately encouraged doctor’s to over-prescribe the drug — to reap profit windfalls from the illegal resale of the surplus.


Surplus of OxiContin? Way.


OcyContin has two major advantages over heroin. It’s better. And it’s better.

But when the Feds crack down on doctor’s who over prescribe Oxies — bogus! — and all of the sudden you can’t get one to save your life, heroin — typically available in the nearest medium-sized city — is the next best thing.

A huge difference between O-C’s & heroin is the ability to measure your dosage. OxyContin comes in pills containing a precise number of milligrams. The largest, 80 milligrams, will very likely not kill even a first-time user. Two 80 milligram pills pose a mortal danger to even seasoned junkies.

So now you know.

But you don’t know how much heroin is in the bag they sell you. So when your town gets strung on the Dirty there’s a very good chance that soon a friend will die.

Hasn’t happened around here recently. Mainly because — most of the time — the bags are small & the dope is cut. That’s why people do so much of it all at once. And that’s why people die.

Another major difference between OxyContin & heroin is that the CIA sells heroin. Etc. So when the Feds crack down on the doctors for getting millions of new heroin customers addicted to opiates — and your friends die because you suddenly can’t get an OxiContin to save your life — the CIA laughs all the way to the bank.

Almost like they planned it that way.

Same way as They plan to get the population of Brattleboro, VT hooked like a guppies on meth.

Look: This blog is twitchy & lengthily jabbered proof that doctors over prescribe Adderall. Not that they prescribe enough exactly. Not for me. But my own habits are a different story. This one is about how soon the Feds will crack down on the doctors for over prescribing speed.

Then the CIA will dump a whole wazoo load of the bomb meth in Brattleboro.

Heh heh.

That’ll way rule!

19 Responses to “ADD + CIA: the Connection”

  1. 1 fatsavage May 16, 2007 at 8:45 am

    Yeah Mike E, you’re on target. In St. Croix in 1986, Pot was the drug of choice actually,a blend of homegrown and Faunta (a kind of Tabacco) was king. Obviously, there was no profit for anybody with that. SOOO

    You got it – The man cracked down on home grown and imported pot and all of a sudden the dealers were selling crack. The addicts were happy big business was happy and the feds were proud of their success in eradicating pot.

    Just Fucking Wonderful.

  2. 2 DEXterity May 16, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    My relation to the blog is the 1/3 empty 30 XR’s, what a low grade piece of shit. A fucking rager without morals skimping that small of a dose selling it for top dollar and the better part is that they probably go to the fucking high school and get 90 of them for 60 bucks from some loser who gets to spend that on an eighth of mersch or something shady like that. Short cutting something for us that believe “life begins at 90” and raping us of our limited income. Who the fuck do they think they are? I will remember to ask you who this is next time we hang out because I’ll be sure to avoid them, that’s low. There’s at least a comoraderie amongst the ‘network’. But those of us in club 90 are tight-knit for a reason.

  3. 3 DEXterity May 16, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    That opens the door to us, if we can find who this rager with bad etiquitte is and give the high school loser a sense of accomplishment by giving him say $75 plus something that needs to be kept in tupperware, he feels like a winner. Planning, I guess the dose of minty refreshment brought me back into “effective rx manipulation skills”. I think that I could offer some top line scheme tips.

  4. 4 Mike E May 16, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Fatty Savage;
    Right you are — on all but one point.
    No one — I mean no motherfucking one! — is happy smoking crack. Why? Shit don’t get you high. In fact I have got more kickin rushes by forking over another $20 to score what — for all the good it does — may as well be a lump of some CIA agents butt cheese.
    One feels Sold Short by the experience. That’s why I don’t smoke crack — unless I really want to.
    The one sure way to make me want to smoke crack is to rip me a few hits for free.
    I won’t buy the next round but shit yeah I’ll smoke yours all day. For your own protection. Not that the stuff is particularly dangerous. In fact crack cocaine blows so total donkey balls that it really isn’t dangerous at all. But I worry that it may make anyone dumb enough to buy it even stupider.
    Mostly I smoke free crack for the novelty. It’s not every day someone offers you a free taste of the cheapest honky bull excuse for a drug in the history of the planet.
    Damn. They ran all the weed off the island & replaced it with crack? As the foremost drug expert on planet earth I strongly recommend you get the 80-odd % of island inhabitants who at very least don’t give a hoot to go on & vote to legalize the stuff.
    If for no other reason than the boon it’ll prove for the local economy.
    Oh, one other thing: Since I’ve no doubt the CIA crawls all around your blog would you mind telling them Mike E says Fuck Off & get real jobs?
    I appreciate it terribly!

  5. 5 Mike E May 16, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    DEX: considering the preponderance of pill freaks in this town — who’re always looking for an Angle — I’d say your Schemes For Sale scheme should right about solve your job hunt woes…

  6. 6 Sporz May 19, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    Great post man. Very informative.

  7. 7 ipodbabi May 20, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    you fuckin druggies should burn in hell ppl die every day because of that n just because your pathetic loosers and can’t deal with their own problems doesn’t mean you should be even more of a dipshit and buy drugs i hope you all die on overdoses and no one comes to your funerals you worthless pigs

  8. 8 Mike E May 20, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    Nice run-on sentence, ipodbabi.


  9. 9 DEXterity May 21, 2007 at 6:34 am

    Hukt on fonix workd 4 mee

  10. 10 Hedpe4lyfe November 28, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    @ ipodbabi

    someone needs to go smoke a joint, people die beacuse they are dumb about it do too much like a retard, or they wanna die and do too much
    and like the blog says u should bicth at the CIA not us

    personally, i like pot but not alot, and i take Addies every day just to get through school and get good grades, not all drugs are “100% bad”

  11. 12 the author January 25, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    I want meth.

    My question, is if you like Adderall so much, why don’t you go out and get your own “legal” prescription for yourself. Not paying $5 from some elementary school punk.

    Adderall sucks anyway. Dirty, Adderall is an STD infested hooker next to the virginally effective cherry-pop of Dexedrine.

    But to each their own. Hey, I want meth too. Flowing through my veins even.

  12. 13 Mike E January 26, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    As if I need some random passerby smart ass to tell me that Dexedrine is better than adderall.


    And: If you’re such a gigantic, well-informed speed freak then WHY must I explain to YOU that the $5 pills from children are for when our own ‘scripts run out?

    Good luck.

  13. 14 the author January 29, 2009 at 12:11 am

    Mike E,

    Seriously, I wasn’t trying to be a smart ass. I can see now, that I totally did sound like one. I didn’t mean to be condescending.


    And I’m not a passerby… just new to this wordpress blog thing. And your article sort of struck me.

    I love:

    “So why not go for the meth? One could propose Good Reasons. Mostly having to do with the overall evil-ness of crystal meth. You know, like the shit kills you & all. Even I may be inclined to agree that ā€” from a general health standpoint ā€” Iā€™m better off with the type of speed doctors prescribe. And you, dear reader, may be inclined to pat me on the back for choosing so wisely.

    Fuck you.

    I want some meth.”

    I’ve said this so many times. I mean, at least the “fuck you, I want meth part”. It’s cool to see things that I’ve felt written as logically, eloquently and vulgarly as they need to be.

    That’s all I’m sayin’


  14. 18 absintheve January 31, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    Nice to see you are back writing again!!

  15. 19 Bratt-Spun February 5, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    To your highnesses,
    Mr. and Mrs. Speed GOD.
    I`ve started to draw again.
    A six month hiatus,
    far too long a time,
    almost thought I`d never draw again.
    I`ts hard to draw without,
    some form of stimulation.
    I like to draw for long periods of time.
    like last night,
    {I drew for 12 hours straight}
    it goes by in no time flat.
    And I got alot done,
    I`ll have you know.
    By the way,
    I`m an avid fan of Adderall.
    and dexadrine,
    which my landlord gives me,
    {I can have one 10 mg. tab a day!}
    concerta, provigil,ritalin,
    especially ritalin,
    which affords me even more ,
    cause everyone hates Ritalin
    Even Mike e didn`t want my Ritalin.
    How cool is that?
    I`ve heard all the arguments,
    There is a serious drug problem in this town,
    damn serious.
    Especially when it comes to that dreaded one,
    Crystal Meth,
    and do you know why there is a serious problem here?
    We`ll I`ll tell you,
    There is no meth here,
    never has been.
    I`t`s a fucking crying shame?
    I could draw for a week straight with a 20 sack,
    You`d be doing society a favor.
    You`d be doing me a favor.
    Scourge of the country my ass.
    So, Mr. and Mrs. Speed GOD,
    could you give us poor people,
    here in Brattleboro, VT.
    some of that elixer,
    that pours from thou.
    We are not criminals,
    all we want to do is drugs!

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