Welcome To The Monkey On My Back.

For speedWay readers who wonder how they can bet on the next Spun Cookie Race; or for that matter aren’t yet clear on what a Spun Cookie is…Here’s a good rule of thumb: the cookie has nothing to do with it. In fact I think that cookie has out-lived its’ usefulness.

Fuck cookies.

From now on: It’s 24/7 Spun Kookie races on the world famous open container speedWay!

Spread the word.

The question then is what is Spun?

Spun is like a perma-tilted pinball machine. Though the Game Over light keeps flashing the Credit counter, clearly malfunctioned, registers enough credits to provide free pinball until the 2010 mid-term elections. After that it plans to run for President.

Ever hear of a pinball game called Strange Torpedo? Me neither. I called the manufacturer to inquire about the machine’s origins. They told me that it was the only one of its kind.

Weird thing is even when the machine is unplugged the lights keep on a-flashing. It claims to pick up the extra credits in dimensions parallel to and equally as ‘real’ as our own. Quantum physisits insist these mathematical necessities — called Elsewheres — exist in realms flung so far through time & space we will never encounter them.

Strange Torpedo disagrees. Says those Elsewheres — far from flung — are really so close to our own Reality Assumption that without the right kind of eyes we don’t see them.

Strange Torpedo never shuts off for a more obvious reason — the pinball machine somehow convinced some psychiatrist to prescribe him mix-salt amphetamines for a bogus case of A.D.D.

Strange Torpedo — the sleepless extraterrestrial multi-dimension leaning orphan pinball machine — is one good example of Spun.

“Yo those Spun Cookies on your blog are pretty stale.” A friend pointed out recently. “Can we smoke ’em?”

Pippi: can you smoke a Spun Cookie?

Heads Up: To The Youth! You can take Pippi at her word. She is not just an expert. Pippi is long gone Pro.

She writes a weekly column for the successful fiber-craft web rag Knitty; a column Pippi sneakily & bravely named Get Spun.

Wicked frikkin funny. No shit.

Not the column itself — though it’s no doubt speckled liberally with cult knitter inside jokes. The title though is all-time classic art by itself; it will live brilliantly on. The joke not only identifies Pippi’s allegiance — on our side — it also spews chuckles aplenty out of every old-time drug user I tell.

“Hey my friend Pippi calls her column in a knitting magazine Get Spun!”

“Do the knitters know?” One friend asked.

Only the knitters who know shit about anything.

“Man I am Spun.” A friend once proclaimed.

“Hard Spun.” I assured him.

And that is all ye need to know.

Unless you still can’t figure out what Spun means.

One time in the passenger seat of a parked car I got so wasted on drugs — quality psychedelics — that I actually thought I was flying a spaceship.

It is the uncontested pinnacle of my personal far&wide drug experience. To this day I still swell some with pride at the accomplishment. Just you go an imagine the amount of drugs required. Plenty of people have taken enough drugs to forget momentarily which exact planet they are on.

But who here has borrowed & taken the actual spaceship out for a joy spin?

Truth told: The spaceship was not lent so much as conjured from brain resin — strange hypothalamic crystalline wash-off (reputedly the most potent drug concoction in the cosmos) — which lay sludge-puddled & stuck in the bottom of my skull. This residue of a 10-year plus drug binge is the leftover drugs that, for various unavoidable reasons, never made it to the hypothalamus; the part of the brain responsible for converting drugs into the neurotransmitter proteins — ie dopamine & seretonin –which rule so total-way awesomely.

Normally these sludge pools lie dormant but under special conditions — when the bottom-skull reservoirs are full, a feat accomplished at maximum on 2 or 3 occasions per lifetime — erupt. Back into the brain. And settle. Thinly & invisibly blanket the hypothalamus. Then seep slowly if with pronounced efficacy over the course of the ensuing decade into the various synapses.

WAY! Free drugs dudez!

That’s the real reason I seemed to handle a strange and blistering fast spacecraft — my first solo flight — with the greatest of ease. Because my reservoirs erupted. YEAH!! So I wasn’t just high on the drugs I took that night but on a semblance of all the drugs I — or anyone else — had barreled into my brain ever in my life.

Expensive little spaceship ride! I tell you.

But it was awesome.

That’s why Pippi says Get Spun.

Hard Spun.

Off to the Monkey House — gone. Gone far & hard enough to never come back.


Spun Kookie.

Round & round & round & round
Round & round & round
& Round.

And Round!

Singing Thank You!!
For a real good time.
>>Grateful Dead

Any questions?

Yeah! Got one:

Who is going to win the 2007 Kentucky Derby (hint: my new favorite racehorse)?

I will place a complimentary $5 Kentucky Derby bet on behalf of the first reader to email me the correct answer. Get Spun. Spin It Like You Stole It. Good Luck.

23 Responses to “Welcome To The Monkey On My Back.”

  1. 1 mg halftank April 15, 2007 at 10:01 am

    Fuck Yeah Mike e. Hard Spun.

  2. 2 Mike E April 15, 2007 at 5:11 pm

    Hey Halftank — I’ve been trying to remember: was that you that I had that “Dude I’m so Spun!” “Hard Spun.” conversation with? I think so…Oh yes. Of course!

    Hamilton. Spring tour 2001.

    See ya There dude!

    Oh, one thing I forgot to mention: This $5 bet contest is not open to residents of Windham county (most of whom I’ve told about this horse whether they wanted to hear it or not. Oh, and Paddymac — I owe you a $5 bet since technically you already won.

  3. 4 absintheve April 17, 2007 at 4:05 am

    So you got any spun cookies for me?
    Or did you spin yourself of into sleep after the last sporty spice cookies….
    from the wookie cookie monster

  4. 5 absintheve April 17, 2007 at 4:07 am

    i mean the spun wookie…..not cookie..

  5. 6 Xela April 17, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    Anyone who is still unclear what a spun cookie is would be wise to check the Speedway archives for July ’06. Finally, let’s not forget bein’ spun ain’t always a good thing. Generally it’s great but not always. My recollection is hazy but during July ’06 I was so spun I couldn’t even find the speedway. I was dimly aware that I was being run over. Luckily I had Sir Mike e there to get me in the race and do a bit of the driving.

  6. 7 absintheve April 22, 2007 at 10:55 pm

    I am quite familliar with a spun cookie….
    That is quite trite in compared to a Spun Wookie!!!!
    Are you familliar with a Spun Wookie?

  7. 8 Lucy Loophole April 23, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Has any one seen Mike E around?
    lookie….I got something he might want……it aint cookies…
    But he might want some MG’s……If you see him that is….
    To all you spun bloggers…..and those who live in cyber scooby swpace tell him lucy is lookin for him…..He might be passesd out like a SPUN ROOKIE..But he usually looking for something….
    I might have…..love lucy loophole

  8. 9 chris April 25, 2007 at 12:59 am

    Has anyone seen Lucy Loophole around? I know she is around but our trails lead us to not much bumping into, let alone the longing love you feel for a dear friend that you have not heard or seen of in quite some time.I love you Lucy Loophole. Oh, by the way, I saw Mike e passed out at the controls of the Millenium Falcon just a few hours ago. Blame it on the spun Wookie who dosed everyone on board

  9. 10 DEXterity April 26, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    Dexterity will soon regain his title…Ping

  10. 11 rosey April 27, 2007 at 3:51 am

    Has anyone seen either Chris or Mike E spinning around with a silver chrystourlord. The MotherShip is also spinning though slightly sedated compliments of new meds. We put our trust in your integrity and ability to do the right thing. My love and patience is coming to a slow twirl. My questions to the ONE WHO THINKS HE’S INTITLED AND NOTHING IS SACRED is WTF!!!!!!! I see you appreciated the tokens of my affection found along with the gum recievced from a certain holiday hare. I would think that at least you could recycle it. Why?

  11. 12 DEXterity April 27, 2007 at 8:11 am

    They ignore me I am useless now
    Wish I could help

  12. 13 Mike E April 27, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    Friends: Please air personal grievances about 3rd parties elsewhere.


  13. 14 DEXterity April 28, 2007 at 8:08 am

    I apologize it wasn’t cool for me to be jealous and/or rude, I hope you understand my lack thereof

  14. 15 DEXterity April 28, 2007 at 10:18 am

    Please understand my nature of jealousy mike e. When I rage everyone looks as though they have doll’s eyes and everyone else always has the good old mg’s and it escalates to a state that is rather delusional. Honestly I am just jealous and it is jealousy that is based on assumption. I will always assume people dislike me and it’s fine if they do, but I do know that you may be able to relate to my delusional perception. And I don’t even know rosey, or maybe I think I know who it may be but still.

  15. 16 Mike E April 28, 2007 at 10:39 am

    Dex: No biggie. Though I must say, well — 2 things. For one, I try to look out as best I can. I recall recently sending you a message to check if you were hungry for actual food? Wasn’t an mg or nothing — hell it wasn’t even my own food — but we do the best we can, dig?

    Also: You got any mg’z?


  16. 17 SocialBookmark - Bookmarks verwalten May 6, 2007 at 12:24 am

    Bitte einloggen Um einen Bookmark hinzufügen zu können, musst du dich einloggen. Solltest du noch nicht angemeldet sein, kannst du dich hier kostenlos

  17. 18 Credit May 7, 2007 at 7:35 am

    Jetzt Bargeld abholen: Ein Kredit für Auto Häuser

  18. 19 Sporz May 8, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Wurd to your moms.

  19. 20 Jay May 23, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    I’m new to blogging, but learning the ropes.

  20. 21 Mark87 June 6, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    Hi, just wanted to say you have a very nice blog, am gonna add it in my website in the blogs section, but i think you should replace your background with a better one.. but this is just my opinion 🙂

  21. 23 lanzarote villa June 22, 2007 at 10:47 am

    Hi sorry to contact you this way but your email keeps bouncing ,would you be intrested in exchanging links?

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