Just Kidding (just barely).

The older I get the more I realize: a big part of what I’ve got going for me is the fact that the human liver is the most splendidly resilient thing.


The liver, as we know, is the organ that’s chiefly responsible for processing & safely eliminating toxins — specifically booze & drug toxins — from the human body.

Amazing thing about the liver is the way they can cut two thirds of it out and it’ll be 100% regenerated in a week. That’s the truth. In an experimental human procedure patients have received a freshly divvied half liver from a live donor. Successfully. I could donate half my liver to a friend in need to save their life from an ailing liver if need be. If my liver was healthy. And I have a damn healthy liver.

What’s more: It’s for sale!


5 Responses to “Just Kidding (just barely).”

  1. 1 jayherron March 9, 2007 at 7:18 am

    Ive always figured that after forty some odd years of smokin weed has loaded my gut with the same resins that need constant cleaning from my pipe…and I figured when I die the dude that does the post mortum will locate this magnificant and huge ball of what I call “poo boo”…which is this huge ball-o-hash thats been building up in my stomach over these years. I betcha heres doc’s all across the land who has these secret stashes of POO BOO that they only break out during one of those great doctor bashes they throw around the pool from time to time.
    Smokin any ‘poo boo’…always makes you go WHEW! Thats only if you ever get the chance-its so secretive,but…theres got to be such-the resin coats my teeth,why think it stops there?
    Hey…dig the new headline for open container-nice job!

  2. 2 Mike E March 9, 2007 at 7:52 am

    enough to make a guy give medical school some serious consideration. Or maybe I’ll be a janitor at the morgue…YEAH!

    Then I can get the good shit!

    Bah. Ya know what though? I smoked one of my own lungs while I wrote this comment and it didn’t do shit.

    Jay I think getting high from smoking the body parts of dead once-heavy drug users may be a urban legend.

    So I guess I’ll just sell half my liver & stay unemployed for a spell.

  3. 3 Sporz March 9, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    I have always found the liver fascinating!! It takes a licken for sure!. That thing, man, wheww, I tell ya, sure is a trooper. I had no idea about the one week regeneration! That is freakin wild. I knew the liver can heal incredibly with just a few short breaks here and there. I think the only other part that acts like that is the ear lobe? (don’t quote me on that). Is there a market for half-lobes these days? Eeww thats funky.

  4. 4 It's Me, Dude March 27, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    the partial liver selling idea is a good one. i want in. i, too, boast a well-exercised, and thus, Robust liver. as for smoking the remains of dead drug abusers, it has always been believed(at least by Europeans that resorted to the practice) that consuming the body of an insane man was practically begging for the same sentence. make what you will of that, I suppose everyone chases a different dream.
    A well-informed party recently tackled an equally important medical issue: When one(and i mean a hard-drinking, acid-droppin’, dope-shootin’sonofabitch) has regular, unprotected sex, does his semen cause his partner to go insane over time?
    some signs point to yes.

  5. 5 Mike E March 27, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    HA!! And I was just about to be like “Who the fuck is this It’s Me Dude character?!”

    Thanks for clearing that up.

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