The Collector’s Item: a rare piece of work

It wasn’t the worst Christmas ever for me. But it was lousy. But then my life is pretty lousy – so the only unusual thing about today is that it’s Christmas.

Guess I can’t blame it on Christmas specifically. But I do.

So in that regard it being Christmas today almost made it better, gave me an unusual Excuse.

But if it being Christmas made it somehow better that’s a fuck awful statement on my already no good life. Because Christmas blows donkey balls. And if that fact alone helps make my life better – what kind of rotten shit does that say about me??

Like I say it pretty much sucked ass but wasn’t the worst Christmas ever.

But enough about me! How ’bout we have us a rude chuckle at someone else’s misfortune?

My old & good friend Xela…it sounds like her’s was the worst Christmas for real. And Xela hates Christmas as much as me at least. So that says something:

Xela’s Christmas blew the balls straight out of a donkey’s ass.

Hope it’s got better for her by the time she reads this. They let her out of the drunk tank I hear. So that helps. Now all she needs to do is remember particularly which complete stranger’s house she left her money, her plane ticket & her stash at.

Then she’ll be all set.

If not. Well, Xela – if it makes you feel any better to remember:

Dude. You are also the first person I’ve ever known to get busted for Public Intoxication in Brattleboro. Those who live here understand that is no small feat.

And on Christmas Eve no less.

Give it up people: a proud round of applause – a standing ovation even – for Xela!!

That is so cool.

You were also the first person ever to read open container speedWay. You know what that means?

When I get Famous you’ll be worth a fortune on eBay!!

So don’t fret.

 

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7 Responses to “The Collector’s Item: a rare piece of work”


  1. 1 xela December 26, 2006 at 9:16 pm

    Apparently possessing chick-balls is a crime. St. Nick hooked me up with the proverbial lump of coal. My own damn fault, coulda been much worse. Besides, I get to visit this cold little boro again for my related court date(s)

    Hey Mikee-
    If you live here how come I haven’t seen you? What batcave are you hiding in??? Love long and prosper

  2. 2 Mike E December 26, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    My ass is at the Bar currently, trying to find out where you’re at — as I’ve been doing since…well, I guess since shortly after you were so impolitely detained.

    Last I heard you were bowling

  3. 3 Mike E December 26, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    re: Apparently possessing chick-balls is a crime…

    Yeah — chick-balls plus that pole you were banging down some strangers door with…

    Once again: I’m proud of you!!

  4. 4 drawntomyart December 27, 2006 at 12:23 am

    I`ts not a written word per se`, but I thought it was an unwritten one, that if my door is unlocked, then it`s an open invitation to stay in my hovel How Xela never got that part of the equation was beyond me, but to just to try to make things right I`ve invited her to an afternoon delight. I hope that the delight is obtainable, otherwise I might get my ass kicked

  5. 5 Mike E December 27, 2006 at 12:25 am

    Hell you’ll probably get your ass kicked either way.

    & that’s a Fact.

  6. 6 drawntomyart December 27, 2006 at 3:22 am

    I just came back from a near NLD, an experience, not for the light of heart. A friend came by, and I gave him $20. An NLD, {Near Lethal Dose} is one of the most exhilarating experiences a person could ever experience. I`ts hard to describe. Have you ever come close to death, alone, and in a state, where a bit of intimacy, no matter how inconsequential is more than one could ever wish for? And so it goes. My friend Xela is sad. She was arrested on X-mas Eve, Can you fuckin belive it? I call it serendipity, as I was not going to have alot of time to visit with an old friend. {she`s so old….} Now I can. I`m glad you got busted, rather surprised though. I`m going to try to make her a little happier tomorrow. Lucky me, Ass whoopin` or not it`ll be a fine day. {There`s always wishin` ain`t there?}

  7. 7 Mike E December 27, 2006 at 3:26 am

    to the Youth:

    I have no idea what drawntomyart just did…but don’t try it at home!!

    drawntomyart is an extensively seasoned Stunt Man!


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