Archive for December 26th, 2006

The Collector’s Item: a rare piece of work

It wasn’t the worst Christmas ever for me. But it was lousy. But then my life is pretty lousy – so the only unusual thing about today is that it’s Christmas.

Guess I can’t blame it on Christmas specifically. But I do.

So in that regard it being Christmas today almost made it better, gave me an unusual Excuse.

But if it being Christmas made it somehow better that’s a fuck awful statement on my already no good life. Because Christmas blows donkey balls. And if that fact alone helps make my life better – what kind of rotten shit does that say about me??

Like I say it pretty much sucked ass but wasn’t the worst Christmas ever.

But enough about me! How ’bout we have us a rude chuckle at someone else’s misfortune?

My old & good friend Xela…it sounds like her’s was the worst Christmas for real. And Xela hates Christmas as much as me at least. So that says something:

Xela’s Christmas blew the balls straight out of a donkey’s ass.

Hope it’s got better for her by the time she reads this. They let her out of the drunk tank I hear. So that helps. Now all she needs to do is remember particularly which complete stranger’s house she left her money, her plane ticket & her stash at.

Then she’ll be all set.

If not. Well, Xela – if it makes you feel any better to remember:

Dude. You are also the first person I’ve ever known to get busted for Public Intoxication in Brattleboro. Those who live here understand that is no small feat.

And on Christmas Eve no less.

Give it up people: a proud round of applause – a standing ovation even – for Xela!!

That is so cool.

You were also the first person ever to read open container speedWay. You know what that means?

When I get Famous you’ll be worth a fortune on eBay!!

So don’t fret.