Why Loathe? I Have My Reasons.

I remember when I first realized that Christmas sucked. That I hated it and wanted it to die a horrible, painful death. Because it was so awful…

All of the presents were opened, and I was crying. Because I didn’t get a calender. Not that I needed one so terribly — and in fact I recall my grandmother attempted to assuage my grief by promising to buy me a calender the instant stores opened the next day. No matter. Nothing could ease my pain.

Why? There were reasons. Namely, I was young & confused. I always got a calender on Christmas. Never particularly gave a damn about it, I’m certain. My calender wasn’t super cool like a new Star Wars toy or anything. But when I didn’t get one, that year, I think it upset my sense of continuity. Made me feel like something was Wrong.

And there was something wrong. My mother was in the kitchen crying.

Why? Ostensibly because, after all she had done — and the effort she put in each Christmas was frighteningly monumental — her son was now throwing a temper tantrum around the Christmas tree because he didn’t get a stinking calender.

I’m not sure how old I was. But I guess I was just old, or wise, enough to realize that my mother was having a Christmas-induced nervous breakdown that everyone blamed on me. And I thought to myself:

This is BULLSHIT!!

And that was that. I’ve loathed Christmas ever since.

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7 Responses to “Why Loathe? I Have My Reasons.”


  1. 1 drawntomyart December 24, 2006 at 5:38 pm

    Here I am, over in COW Hamshire, enjoying the holiday with my dog. I too think X-Mas is time not well spent. Sure, I`ll get some good stuff, maybe even some cash, but where I`d really like to be, what I`d like to be doing, is sitting around with my Pals, getting high and throwing a few more logs on my fire. I cant have a fire in my apartment, without burning down the whole block. I`ts times like this when I harken back to the old days when me and my pal were pals. Now we`re like ghosts in a wind tunnel. So be it. But it still sucks.

  2. 2 jayherron December 24, 2006 at 8:47 pm

    …the kid down the street was a real asshole and his parents were bigger assholes and every crixmix the fuck got showered with stuff-all neat stuff….go carts-ponies…and at my house the old red fart they lie about would bring rinky dink shit. I thought crixmix and the jolly red fart were the most hazardest basterds in life-bad kid,get good stuff-behave like the red fart lies to you to do,and rewarded with tinker toys. Good job-hope the front yard ballon santa belched a slow farting sound before he picked up deflation speed. Come to Florida and mass murder all the big ballon snow men yard stupids…snow men,in Florida-how corn ball can you get? Some of these poor cracker kids ain’t even gotta clue what snow even is except thier poor daddies use alot of it after work…?

  3. 3 Mike E December 24, 2006 at 8:53 pm

    drawntomyart:

    I can’t have a fire in my apartment…

    Oops. Is that why it burnt down while you were away?

    My mistake.

    All in Good Fun though…Lucky we’re Pals, eh?

    Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.

    ps how come there’s no pictures on that new blog of yours?

  4. 4 Mike E December 24, 2006 at 8:56 pm

    Jay:

    Funny thing about inflatable snowmen is that there’s no snow around here these days…

    So maybe I’ll go out tonight and do away with a few of them. Not in cold blood — who would murder a snowman? — but as a Statement on Global Warming.

  5. 5 drawntomyart December 26, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    As it`s been a millenia since I spent any real time on a computer, it`ll take me a spot of time to transfer pics onto it. Today with any luck at all will be that day.
    By the way… Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

  6. 6 DEXterity December 26, 2006 at 12:55 pm

    UGH i hate christmas terribly… midnight mass advent PTSD specified to the holidays. I Am Not Celebrating… My Rx Is Dated 12-27 So I Guess That’s My Joy For The Season…

  7. 7 Mike E December 26, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    Dexterity:

    27th you say?

    Joy to the World indeed!


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