The Advent Rip-Off

Every year when I was a kid, a few weeks before Christmas, my sister & I would get an Advent Calendar. It was most exciting. Why?

Because we were dumb maybe.

Advent Calendars, most know, are those things with little paper doors to be opened one per day from the first of December until Christmas Eve. Nowadays there is a Reason for kids to excitedly open those doors — a chocolate is tucked behind each.

But I grew up in the Stone Age. No chocolates behind the Advent Calendar doors back then — just a Christmas-related picture. A candle on December first. A wrapped gift on the 15th. A yule log thrown in there somewhere…

Though I can’t remember specifically, I feel certain that occasionally fists-thrown brawls erupted between my sister & I over who would open the Advent door that day.

Like I said we were dumb maybe. I’ve smartened up some since then. Today, I would not fight to open a door and look at a picture.

Chocolate, though — that’s worth fighting for. Kids are lucky these days.

Anyway, this all led up to something — the one with two paper doors that we got to open on Christmas eve.

Good golly — I wonder what’s behind it???

Can I get a drum roll please? No problem. The Little Drummer Boy showed up religously around the 22nd or 23rd every single year….

….And behind the Christmas Eve Double Doors:

Holy crap — It’s baby JESUS in the manger!!

Can you fucking believe it?

Yeah. But no chocolates. What a rip-off!

I need a therapist.

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1 Response to “The Advent Rip-Off”


  1. 1 pippi December 26, 2006 at 10:05 am

    You know, While watching my The new xmas classic Bad Santa I was wondering when advent calenders had chocolates behind them… Mine never did. And I was the kid who opened all the doors the first minute I got the effin thing. For what???
    I was really dreading xmas this year, but I came around someplace between seeing my kids faces light up and the (now) broken toys.
    My house looks like we had a kegger up in here.
    I’m glad it’s over.

    I hope you had a wonderful day!
    & Take some cover! I hear we got some weather movin in.

    Love yoU!


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