I did it for Jesus.

Noise – a high-pitch & spastically tuneless hum – escapes semi-inadvertently from my vocal apparatus.

Like serial killers in the movies. Except they seemingly prefer to whistle. Ever notice that about the serial killers in the movies? The way they always whistle random, agitated & tunelessly disgruntled notes while they stalk their next victim.

Then whistle off a razor-whip sizzler rendition of Love Me Do & stroll slap-happily along when the deed is done.

Like I said I prefer to hum. Leave the whisteling to Santa Claus; you know…that PacMan got munched by a ghost sound he makes while deflating late at night on someone’s front lawn.

Ahh yes!

After I knife jolly old plastic air-filled Saint Nick in the gut. Just to watch him die.

 

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5 Responses to “I did it for Jesus.”


  1. 1 PALS December 18, 2006 at 9:09 pm

    Pals, I`ts a word that doesn`t come cheap, albeit cheap is so often the gorge that the bull takes out of your groin, just before thinking that, that bull aint got shit on me. Pals, you know like Billy The Kid and his Pals. They were real, right up till the time Pat Garrett turned lawman and betrayed young Billy, not to say my Pals have done that.
    The 2nd gunman on the grassy knoll probably had pals seeing that he was indeed the 2nd gunman, like the3rd gunman who as some say was behind a fence when he shot JFK. Did Oswald have pals? You know he did, the commie bastard, how about John Wilkes Booth? Where`s all this leading you say? I wonder if I had a pal or was it just a crazy ride on a stolen roller coaster

  2. 2 Xela December 19, 2006 at 12:37 am

    You wanna go on a Natural Born Killer style rampage? This grinch (pal) with a grudge is coming to town to kill motherfuckin’ Santas. Get ready.

  3. 3 DEXterity December 19, 2006 at 5:05 pm

    I bet after 7 days on dexedrine the concept of a Natural Born Killers-style rampage would sound fun… I have watched the movie before after a good 5 day dex induced insomnia/paranoia (which happens on 55 mg/day…lol) and after i had a bit of a ptsd fit and started in with screaming “you stupid bitch, you stupid, stupid bitch” i elected to sleep. i must admit that adhd in my mind is an anagram for “another doctor handing out drugs” but i do not deny or complain about my “modified amphetamine dependence” or “treatment of hyperactivity” program. I just hate having to take dexedrine to have normal functioning and ending up psychotic as a result of insomnia or not taking… you know the adult amphetamine takers are all overgrown adhd labelled kids.

  4. 4 PALS December 19, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    This {pal} hates Santa, with his overweight, stumbling, manic depressive attitude. I`ts not so much as wanting to kill Santa, as it is to make him fully understand the folly of his ways. I recently saw 2 cupids, naked, having a smoke, and looking dreamily upwards, with beers in their hands, looking at what, this one, knows not, but I`ll bet you 3 to 1, it wasn`t fucking Santa Claus!

  5. 5 galloway December 20, 2006 at 8:25 pm

    We’ve got a xmas serial killer in the UK right now who’s really keeping the cops on heat.

    He’s a red-light guy; preys on prostitute-women heroin and crack junkies; remarkable for the pace of his hits: five in 10 days.

    The Suffolk Constabulary have arrested two weirdos so far but they’re getting nowhere and will have to release them soon.

    I considered getting in on the act myself, targeting right-wing, fundamentalist, evangelical Christians.

    But then I thought: who would give a damn? And besides, I can’t whistle for sh!t.


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