Sugar Bombs TNT & Scooby Snacks

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Think I’ll wrap this lil’ Office of National Drug Control lambaste we’ve had here up by takin ya’ll Back.

How far back?

Way the fuck back.

I’m talking cartoons on Saturday morning. Wonder Twin powers. Sugar Bomb cereal & make-believe Scooby Snacks.

Back to the early 80’s Gateway Drug dayz.

Sugar is the Gateway Drug. In my case the Gateway to Ritalin. Next thing you knew I got a mailbox on my bumper & a stolen front tire. Traded those heapin bowls of imitation processed Sugar Bomb breakfast food-style substitute in for a for a real nice psychiatrist who prescribes me my Adderall.

So there I was one Saturday with a head full of sugar & animated TNT and suddenly the TV-add wanker squawks off about the evils of fried eggs.

DUDE!! But that’s like…I mean actual breakfast!

*Mike E says Say WHAT!?*

I could go on and on but think I’ll just let the TV-add douche eater squack for himself.

So here it is ~~~ Hang on to your Open Containers there kiddoz ~~~ The first shot fired in the War on Drugs. The cracked egg heard ’round the World! Let’s make some NOIZE people for your BRAIN-ON ->drugz!!!

[grouper=mtg/mtgPlayer.swf?gvars=vurl~http%3a%2f%2fgrouper.com%2frss%2fflv.ashx%3fid%3d1005364_rf%7e793318_vfver~8_ap~0_extid~-1;321;265]

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WHEW! Gives me a hankerin for a cold can of Mountain Dew.

Know what: I say bring back the Drug War!

Know why?

Cause it was hallucinated oodles more fun than the War On Terror and we were winning.

Wow. If I could convert blog-posts like this into their smokable form I could bag it up & sell ’em. This is the best fun I’ve ever had writing.

Thanks in no freaking small part to you folks down there on Planet Earth who hang around this crappy joint with me. Who incidentally are, by my good estimate, a handful of the best & most exciting up&coming writers in the Cosmos.

You kids are a genuine spectacle. And so good to me!

I just remembered something: why I ever stayed awake for so long to begin with. Wasn’t because I had nowhere to sleep. Nope — I plain didn’t fuckin Wanna! What if I missed something shazammin?

Dig: I like the Feeling!!

So I’m off with it. groove:On. Do me a favor ya’ll: drive fast Stay Strange & swing yourselfs loose with a chuckle.

ps To the Googler who wanted to know: do they check for shrooms in drug screen…  Nope. Hot damn! They sure don’t.

See ya on Pluto fellow traveller dude!

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6 Responses to “Sugar Bombs TNT & Scooby Snacks”


  1. 1 dfect802 September 24, 2006 at 3:27 am

    it just hit me , i know exactly what im gettin you for xmas. it will be a perfect compliment to your blog.
    – oh and thanx for that bill hicks.. fucking great that guy is.

  2. 2 chloeinnola September 25, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    Hey, sorry it’s taken me awhile to get back to your comments. I’ve been busy with school. I have a personal journal with actual stories about everything that happened in New Orleans but it’s not public because I don’t want certain people I lived with there to come across it. So I tend to just post articles and such here.

  3. 4 John September 30, 2006 at 2:23 pm

    Both my kids loved the ad and quit eating eggs – The ad did leave a lasting impression.

  4. 5 Mike E September 30, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    Another success story for ONDCP!

    A lasting impression, yes! Why just today I had to choose between dropping my last $5 spot on breakfest — or 2 spansules of Dexadrine.

    Well that was 9 hours ago & I’m still half-happy & not at all hungry. But that egg sandwich would’ve made my ass bitch cranky by noon.

    Speed vs. Food? Oh please! I am poor. And a gigantic Fan of Dopamine.

    Speed is the Champion because it is more fun & cheaper.

    Yo John: thanks for hangin out at this crappy joint with the other derilects & me.


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