I went to a Quaker high school. That’s where I learned to slack craftily & make high-quality excuses for not doing much. It’s also where I learned about silence.
For 10 minutes each morning the whole school — all 30 or so of us — circled up & sat in silence together. Those brief minutes seemed then like an eternity. For me at 17 to sit there and do nothing…actually that was pretty normal. But to say nothing?
It wasn’t until a little later in life that I learned to truly enjoy not saying much while I stare at the wall.
Back then I was way more chatty.
We would crack up laughing a lot during Silence. I don’t know, someone would make a fart noise or something. Or even just make a face like they were about to fart — I mean we had it Down.
I’m sitting here right now staring at the wall, not saying much while I make fart faces & crack myself up.
So…I did learn how to do something — besides be a slacker — in high school.
Oh, there are other good ways to stare at the wall slack-jawed & maybe drool. Boy are there! But silence is cheaper — if at times harder to come by.
I think what I really learned is that silence replenishes. The hardest thing for me about being homeless has been my near inability to sit somewhere comfortably silent — or quiet even. The library I suppose…but they keep strange hours.
Not that I don’t sit places — mostly bars & other people’s houses — quietly. I do all the time but it’s rarely comfortable; doesn’t replenish. I also sit places & talk to myself sometimes. That freaks people out too — at least so much as when I’m a little too quiet.
Anyway I’ve had a chance to spend a bit of reflective time recently in the spare room of a friend who put me on a train for a visit. Dude followed a proper Edict, I say: if you have a friend who is visibly starving for their art — feed ‘em for fuck’s sake!!
Anyway. This unexpected trip out of town came just in time. As my last blog post attests I’ve been feeling morbidly sapped.
Hence my silence.
I feel better replenished now.
A thousand thank yous.
In other news: US-backed Iraqi forces are militarily forcing Muqtada al-Sadr to call off the truce in Basra. Way to go you dumb assholes!
Finally, on a possibly sad note: my buddy Jay Herron had a chat with his mortician recently — rarely a good sign. Gets me to thinking, about how the older you get & the more new friends you make…the more friends you’ll likely outlive. Simple mathematics; welcome to Planet Earth.
Sad & true.
Jay to his immense credit seems cheerful about the whole thing. I suppose in certain ways one can’t blame him, no? Totally positudinal.
I invite you to please check his stuff out — quality shit written by a man under the gun. That way y’all can be bummed out with me out if he dies soon, too.
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